King Groy, batch 17Candy-From-Babies took up his post by the castle wall, fully loaded with a tray full of hot, glistening, dripping sausages that seemed to bounce and wiggle lasciviously on top of one another. Strapped to the side of his tray was a bottle of mustard the fumes from which made his eyes water. It was going to be another stellar day.Outside the southern castle gate, several dozen burly, hairy men lined up.They looked to Candy-From-Babies like they'd enjoy a sausage, so he walked up to them Morning, squire, he said to one of them, who eyed him with the same look of malevolent disinterest a Highland bull will give travelers trying to pass it while it is ruminating in the road. Lovely day for queueing up outside the castle, isn't it?, he began, then looked again at the bull-like man and decided to go hassle the next man in line. The next man in line, as it happened, also gave him the bovine death stare. As did the three after that. Candy-From-Babies got the impression
King Groy, batch 16It was at precisely this time, while interviewing with the Deputy Chamberlain's assistant, that Kel had another stinging headache coupled with complete confusion. The interview went like this:Girl, I know that the job of a chambermaid isn't all that demanding. However, this is the King's castle, and it's essential that we provide some references just to know that you can be trusted not to run off with the table silver. Who have you worked for before? Who can vouch for your character.Er... I worked for a knight for years.Yes..... and his name was?Sir... Green.... of Green.Sir Green of Green.He was known to everyone as the Green Knight.Uh-huh... and how can we contact this Green Knight?Sweating, Kel clawed at the collar of her overdress.Go on, said the Deputy Chamberlain's assistant. We have Racing Goblins who can get anywhere in no time.The stinging headache hit Kel.
King Groy, batch 15Tamlin woke up that morning with a splitting headache and a sleeping rat lying next to him. The first thought that faded into his mind through the haze of his hangover was Ugh! Vermin!. The second thought was Oh, shit, I'm a rat!.The third thought was too horrible to contemplate, and instead of contemplating it, Tamlin ran as far away as he could from the place he'd fallen asleep in, a little cranny where some of the old foundations weren't quite level. Unfortunately, that wasn't very far after only a few dozen feet, he felt like his brain was about to burst out of his skull, as well as being dizzy, nauseous and having legs (four of them) that felt like they were made of rubber. He wanted to throw up, but found that he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried.Think, rat, he told himself. What happened?He remembered gnawing all the way through the wine barrel and getting to all that fermenting wine. Wood, he thought. It m
King Groy, batch 13 -insert-The gang spent the night in a hollowed-out oak tree near the swamps, about half a mile out from the hovel. Early in the morning, Jake scouted out the old headquarters, and after he gave the all-clear, the entire group went back to the clearing to look for what Barnardus and his merry band had left of their stuff.Even by the light of the torches they had improvised, it was clear that their competitors had stolen whatever they could use and thrashed whatever they couldn't. There were no functional weapons or tools, and even the mildewed clothes, shoes and towels had been turned to shreds.They had the clothes they stood up in, the blankets from Kel's hut and the food from the hovel.And these breeches don't even fit me anymore! said Tamlin. This was true. They had all lost weight during their months at sea.They've also taken the cash, said Ragnarok.And the soap, said Atra. Jodoque and Groy eyed her.What? We need to wash some time.This